“It’s Not That Simple”
The Notebook: Movie Commentary
“What do you want?” “It’s not that simple.”
That’s a fair way to describe both my reception and presumably others’ feelings about this particular film. Should The Notebook portray a healthier, not so toxic vision of “true love”? Ideally, yes. I don’t find the love story to be a picturesque model for what young people should crave in romantic love. Ally inevitably toys with two men’s hearts due to circumstances outside of her control, as well as her own internal confusion. Noah’s obsession with his first love drives him to careless disrespect for Ally’s engagement to Lonnie. Lonnie doesn’t know when to take an “L” and run from a red flag, or multiple, disregarding Ally’s unfaithfulness by either naive dismissal or possibly rushed, desperate forgiveness.
But would anything else be entertaining? To a consumer market obsessed by the pleasures of the moment and a love defined by its own entertainment value, Noah and Ally make for an exciting love story to watch. Have we devalued love and even hurt our societal chances of long-lasting marital commitments by giving in to the excitement? Likely, yes.
The joker in the deck is the fact that, throughout the film, we see how far Noah’s love really goes after Ally, watching him pursue his true love through her dementia in old age and ultimately unto death did them part. Perhaps we could give him the benefit of the doubt for his young immaturity, in that he was sure that he would commit to her in this way and thus justify his actions, even despite Lonnie. Maybe he knew her better than she knew herself, and he forced her hand to delay not what would inevitably happen anyway. Such justification of Noah’s actions would, however, ignore the pain that he caused Martha heartlessly, but even more to justify his means by its end. We can’t do this, no matter how bad we may want to.
Yet, between the carelessness of Noah and Ally and the picture of marital commitment that we see in Noah’s old age, the film shows us an important truth beyond the obvious virtue of faithfulness: love is messy in the real world. It also warns against “settling” in marital commitment through the surprising revelations of Ally’s mother, Anne, a warning many need to hear today, even as the writers’ definition of “settling” and mine would differ.
If The Notebook is your “go-to” love story because it’s what you crave in real love, I have better recommendations to both satisfy and possibly correct any disordered cravings, like Pride and Prejudice. If you receive it as a tale of complicated romance that doesn’t excuse the flaws of its leads but shows redemption by choosing the good later and showing truly committed love throughout the longevity of life regardless of challenge, then maybe we can celebrate its honesty and certain insights. But the film takes no pains to determine the young pairs’ volatile romance as immaturely reckless and carelessly self-centered in its infancy, so let’s not give them too much credit.